the decline demos

by jordaan mason

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about

a collection of demos for the album "the decline of stupid fucking western civilization" recorded between 2008-2014 on cassette tapes, DAT recorders, and cell phones. i sing and play guitar.

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released December 8, 2016

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about

jordaan mason Toronto, Ontario

a confused human being singing songs about being a confused human being.

*** if you would like a digital download but cannot afford it (for whatever reason, you don't need to tell me), just get in touch at the contact link below & i will get you a code. i sometimes take a minute to reply but if you like the music i want you to have it, so please get in touch. xo! *** ... more

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Track Name: the decline of stupid fucking western civilization
god i want these freezers empty, she said
so we killed my wife and friends instead
i took a greyhound bus to my parent's house
and slept in my old bed

only then i had two sisters instead of brothers
and they spoke softly, cooking creams for supper
a waitress cut my hair and left me somewhere
and now me and every lost dog looks the same

she said: enough ejaculating, alright
you and every dog killed in the light

my plans are all laid out and i am going to the woods

one large egg of me was actual parts of my body
that i saw from the sky struck please
yes i built this catastrophe
i curated this disease i architect the suddenlys
and sell them now as plenty meats
in diners for the dogs like me
he asked me if i had a gun
i answered: naturally

this is a dangerous war, i told him
he said he knew a place to hide
a hotel where husbands go when they forget their wives
so i met him there for a good time
i cleaned his bones and he cleaned mine

and we both got our guns out and shot each other
and the fires in the streets got the guts
to come right out and join us
my sister's in the fire singing: mattresses
the waitress in the fire singing: mattresses
the blood from our heads on the mattress
the blood from our heads on the mattress
Track Name: pharmacy
all you are is pharmacy
as in: you split the good parts open
don't you remember?

a good husband and a bad boyfriend
i got hit so hard i saw horses
and we filled the swimming pool with piss
we couldn't hold it

after all this medication
we all know the end is coming
they're setting fire to the orchards
and all the teenagers are gathered in the woods
they're drinking bleach, it's alright

another box under your bed
filled with pieces of elephants
a school teacher, a good letter grade
sleeping all the sun out
facing the door of your house
Track Name: the enormous light
he was my friend
knock on wood, knock on wood
it's gonna be a good year for growing, they say
the stalks are taller than the houses, now
and yes, i followed him with a flashlight
into the corn field with all eight of my heads on fire
like a signal for him to see me
but he walked right off the earth
his footprints stopped just without warning

don't come home
don't come home
don't come home
don't come home

you wouldn't come back the same
swallow the hurricanes, swallow the hurricanes
a good boy has a bath but once a day
knock on wood, knock on wood
knock on wood, knock on wood
Track Name: of hospitals
look: i ate all the books in your bedroom
and they took my blood and tested it in small doses
as in: over time, they pulled it out

see: they took me from the savagery
and the surgery of my own body
we break in threes, i swallow these: ______
i sing my own gallimaufry
and when sister says call the police:
that wiseacre ain't gettin' me!
she said they held me down until release
and i scratched my head into the streets
there's fragments now (all in me)
of hospitals (all in me)

but they can keep my blood
for as long as they damn well need it
they can break into my house at night
and listen to my secrets
i've been through the fire
yes, i've seen it

so what are we waiting for?
we've wolves, we're willing to waste

and we slice each other into steaks - yes, oh yes
and we slice each other into steaks - don't we, yes
Track Name: the library
couldn't eat the library
all the books have gone bad

and the farmer says
he's gonna sell the land
it's no good to him

all his heads, they're on fire now
at the end of his necks
craning high up to see
little girls making
a casket for him
out of apples and bread

some snakebites get in the skin and don't leave
what is mama baking

and so so many fathers have died the same way
and the books have gone bad
Track Name: stop walking start swimming
so what of connect: we could have it if we want it
i had what was yours, you had mine, we celebrated
the language we talked was - yes - a conversation
and then we cut each other off and lost the arrangements

and there's a room filled with men all trying to sing
and by sing, i mean: all in the dark they could say
all their names out loud for once to each other
but instead, they'll stay strangers, and i won't even bother

with all the lights off, i can barely brush the beards away
i'm tackled and taken from all angles widely
and where can i plug myself in for the warmth i need
is it just through the skin i experience only only only only only

i do not want this thing that i carry with me
i mean: this museum, this illiterate history
like an extra liver, as though i might need it someday
i don't need it - tell me, i don't need it

i want to witness it right in front of me
and be swallowed by it entirely
i want to forget the difference between the sky and the sea
i want to stop walking around and start swimming
yeah, we're all walking around, but let's start swimming

and just have all their heads glued to me in a long line
(i don't want a private life)
Track Name: eulogy
please take these clothes off me
this thickness is unseemly
and the sunlight is too dark

don't wake me, i'm sleeping
my head is brim with peach trees
and this crown doesn't fit

until these acts are these acts and these acts can be done
we'll skim the milk & break our backs & panic none

we break bread, so holy
a silent ceremony
of wonderful creatures and men

his funeral is done, now
let's worry and sleep in the old house
and sing til the fever goes down

until these acts are these acts and these acts can be done
we'll breathe with shallow breaths & hang our heads & hum

until there is a word in these thousands of words
until there is a word until there is a word
the illness is everywhere
Track Name: evidence
so goddamn this devil
we made it on the bevel
can't he break a brother down?
so bereft and beaten
we got through this season
treading snow and headed south
all these rhymes and vowels
across creeks and cavils
his blood can barely fill me now
so what: they call us nelly
we stay belly-to-belly
i put this ring into his mouth

and i pissed the bed again and he held me warm and wet

and he tried to be tender but he could not make it better
and he tried to be tender but he just could not make it better
and i tried to be tender but i could not make it better
and i tried to be tender but i just could not make it better

my bones can barely make a fire
and i can barely make a fire
there is no need for ten gallons of water
the dirt in my head will never grow sunflowers
i do not know you, i am filled with shame
there are peach pits in my mouth again
there's no science for it i don't understand
a prick of blood a cylinder of sweat
to keep you strange i will stay away
i will get so close i cannot escape
some fact is fiction, he is cleaning the kitchen
shed sweaters, linens, some sexual positions
can we switch instead, can we share some bread
can we please never get out of bed
sing a eulogy to erase our sins
find new buttonholes where your skin could begin
if your body's sore i will make some more
i will clack my teeth up tight to yours
comb lint, come less, check for burs & beasts
starve yourself for weeks
that's a bible, belt, breathe --

a body for every beard chopped straight
and his book coming out in black lines on my face
some dog to be bedded, his genitalia slang, see?
he does what she does as they does (please get off me!)

this winter is a goddamned shit
what about: tender! tender! tender!
wake up hard, wait to wilt
scrub out all the silk, and hug harder

you are too close you will never be close enough
i know it's you with my eyes shut
because i have left evidence on you
all this violence in my head
other words i would use: pins and needles

and did i really kill all those men in my dreams?
well, i forget -- i forget
and i wrote no words and i woke up again
with my head in water

i tried to remember what it was that i had done
she described it like a dream that i could not be woken from

oh please don't call the cops on me!

what is this paper trail leading to
what is this shit in my house
Track Name: liturgy part two
suddenly, suddenly: like a brick to the head
caught in bramble, cut my knees
compass clasped at three degrees
she whispered softly just to me
the difference between wasps and bees

and we sucked the venom out of one another
as if to pierce the skin on me: a hymn comes out, so quietly
i memorize the dictionary though diction has all but failed me

i have read the novels in your black eyes, your zebra stripes
he had my sister in the night, again
i heard her howl loud and stark
we made snow angels in the dark

he reciprocated when he took his cowl off
he dyed my hair to match his
we had to hide our erections
he put one hand near his head
and made the shape of some weapon

i can't forgive him -- no, not yet

she filled the grocery bags up with lizards
i put the drill to my head, she the scissors
my sister is screaming and no one believes her
the mattress is glistening with blood and with sugar

and we all will sleep at the bottom of the river
Track Name: i've been tasting roads my whole life
i have made too much room in me
i have
too much
and it's all filling up
with this road in my mouth
how do i spit it out

he keeps foxes in the freezer
& (((faggots fuck forever)))
slamming the door shut
just placing the blame on
the part of me that's fucked too much to say
"til death do us part"

what if we could name ourselves
and speak about
being in this stasis
kissing and contagious
stop waiting for the sun to rise and finally
feel safe at night

i want to suck the gold good
& knock on wood
open this door and share this bed
every bad dream in my head --

i want to spit these roads out
and build a whole new house