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one day the horses will have their revenge

by jordaan mason

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1.
come & go 07:33
i carried you down past the churches i did it for your own sake you stood by the pier and you looked out at all the lights dancing on the lake i carried you down to the creekbed where you stared up at the sun you know we're all beautiful losers you're not the only one these pirouettes i've known since birth these shoes i got for free i know you always wanted more but you won't get it from me i carried you out to the garden and we made ourselves a bed you looked at me through the flowers but i don't remember what you said i carried you here from the ocean where you tried to sing your song and still, i find it endearing that you always spell my name wrong you come home, and you take off your clothes you smoke in your room, and you talk to the ghosts you shut the door, and you keep it closed but you always come and go and the ghosts all say that god will save you but you're not the only one
2.
you who were tall and tender swore the pounding waves away and i saw your heart jump out of your chest and into the grinning lake and all the fireflies they gathered and i caught them in my palms where they swirled around and glowed about as i sang out my songs it was cold, but i stayed warm with you it was cold, but i stayed warm next to you we sat by a campfire and tried to find the light but instead we stomped the fire out and we found ourselves the night and i don't wanna spill out empty rhymes or set fire to my bed i already spend too much time trying to figure out what's been said so i won't say it again so i won't sound redundant the sun came up with wild lips and kissed our skinny palms and though we still hadn't slept we ran around the lawn and the neighbours gave us their strange looks that our smiles couldn't see so we just kept on holding hands because we were finally free and they can't take that away and they won't take that away
3.
all the buildings are boarded up and i lost my job last week there's no one here on these back roads they're out buying antiques some people left up christmas lights on a house by town hall and everyone you meet has wrote their name on some local bathroom stall so pack your bags and leave here don't stay just to stay with me gambling drunks stumble out from the restless neon signs and they go out with their women to the local wine and dine the girls wear too much make-up down at the river with the boys flipping through the radio blasting out that american noise and me, i'm in a parking lot drinking from a paper cup i'm just trying to keep warm i'm just trying to wake up
4.
there will come a day when everything will change and all the things you loved as a child will be gone because you sold them at some garage sale and the photos fell off the wall the winter came and chapped your lips but when you kissed me, i said nothing i just held my tongue to yours and when the autumn ends we'll stay in bed for days and meghan will write out lyrics on a postcard with a photo of our child and she'll wrap herself in blankets and clean the kitchen table and you'll hear the microwave humming from the street it's too loud in here i'm drinking too much the piano keys are broken but i'm playing them anyway so someday you'll sing it back to me even if you can't sing in tune and she'll say, "thank you" and she'll kiss my hands the dishes will pile up in the sink and we'll wish that we had nothing to do for a while i don't want to rake the leaves today i don't want to shovel the driveway the city lights will blink off and on and everything you say, i'll write into a song when you turn away and cry into your books i will cut my hair and ask you how it looks we'll sit out on the porch and pronounce each other's names and when it's cold we'll make something hot to drink and i'll play some songs for you i've got a book that tells me how to be happy i've got hundreds that tell me how to be lonely but i don't want to be lonely you can live in my basement and write novels on my walls or you could just sit on my bed all night while i play my guitar and you listen to all my songs even when they're not that good and you smile
5.
your hands on wet lawns your hands covered in grass your hands printed into soil my hands pressed against the glass you're always talking about laundry even though your clothes smell so good i just want to be near you and you know i would if i could but please, stay calm i know you'll adapt, eventually your hands turned yellow your hands turned blue your hands: the crickets yeah, they're always sing to you and sometimes when i'm still awake i listen to the wind in the trees sitting out on my front porch stuttering and shaking in the knees but please, stay calm i know i'll adapt, eventually i know we'll adapt, eventually
6.
i get all these dumb questions like what the hell are you gonna do with your life i'm gonna live, and i'm gonna see you standing on the corner and we'll smoke cigarettes as our hands go numb out on the porch, until the dawn because we've gotta smoke outside and the winter here is cold, but that's alright we're got sweaters and scarves and the heater was fixed in my car so we can drive to town if you'd like and blast the tapedeck out into the night i don't have any answers and i don't need to justify my curiosity i'm gonna try a little harder to get out of my bed today and gather all the things that i might need just some clean clothes and some CDs and i'll drive until i can't anymore and i'll call you from a payphone of some convenience store you can meet me in the park we'll run around in the snow til it gets dark and we'll chase each other up and down the street back to your house to fall asleep and it's all that we'll need
7.
you could tap your shoes in four-four time until your feet hurt we could hang out to dry our skin made of fabric threads coming loose and you could sing your blues under the porch light but take off the mask and would you look at my face as it leaks all over the hardwood floors and you told me you're thirsty boy on the bed just don't drink the ocean don't be so callow don't be so green don't stain the carpet that's not you you're not that orange and we can't divide you and your skinny arms hang out the window of these hotel rooms the boat-room we lived in the forks that you stole and left for the streets look at the city as she takes off her clothes and she leaves you a trail of garments on the floor for you to follow
8.
your couch 04:39
i slept on your couch and in the other room you were fucking his brains out and i'm wondering if i should make some coffee because this is going to be one hell of a night
9.
everyone's asleep in the hotel cotton beds everyone's awake in the houses uptown but we still had that place where we kept all our clothes and called it home until the day we watched it decompose and this is all we've got plaid shirts and opened drawers or old men in movie theatres thinking about their lives i don't know just what to do when i see them cry and i wonder if they're all alone and how do they get by and will i end up like them i could drink this coffee until i lose my nerves but it won't help me understand my fear of being awake so i'll retreat to the mountains where no one can see me climb and i will be alone, i'll be alone, i'll be just fine so pour the sand out of your shoes and wash your dirty hair no more coney island blues we haven't even been there
10.
11.
the wind 03:23
the little birds said to me hey why don't you climb in our tree and together, we could write a song i said, oh but my legs are too long so instead, i baked them a pie but they said they thought it too dry so i built them a house out of sticks but the birds said that they were gonna need bricks because the wind is gonna come and blow us all away
12.
sleep 02:16
would you be angry if you had known that i stayed up all night again i made you breakfast and here's the paper now please be quiet so i can sleep

about

this is the story of one night when i couldn't sleep. it was written and recorded at my parent's house when i was still in high school. i recorded the entire thing at night, august through december 2004. i learned how to play the guitar as i made this because i had left my accordion in california and pianos are sort of hard to carry around. this was originally distributed to friends only and they were encouraging enough that i continued to make music.

credits

released December 24, 2004

jordaan mason: voice/illiteracy, guitar, piano, percussion, tapes, cover art
&
birds outside my window: chirps (10, 11)
dustin goldklang: guitar (4, 7)
meghan joyce: voice (1)
christina mason: voice (1)
josh mason: voice (1)
martha mason: voice (1), freedom speech (1)
jessica pilon: voice (3)
shelby sifers: voice (11)
matt vail: answering machine (5)
mat vuksinich: voice (6)

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jordaan mason Toronto, Ontario

a confused human being singing songs about being a confused human being

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