form less

by jordaan mason

/
1.
scientist you've been hard at work i know you've been digging the earth for weeks in your front yard have you found the box of bibles i buried there so long ago i can't remember the litanies and are you hoping to have a religious experience and are you hoping to have a crisis of faith in your front yard for all of your neighbours to see your new complicated sexual identity and what are you going to name it?
2.
i think i thought that i could kill her this is what i had been taught to do but we've been braiding our hair, together and we've been making a prayer, together and we've been graphing a map, together and we've been making it last, together please trust me, don't trust me
3.
aphasia 03:22
another dog ear year gone south collecting garbage in my mouth i am humiliated we haven't met before but we have met before you were in a dream i had i ran to the window and looked up at the sky i kept thinking, "take me home" everything i wear feels like a costume
4.
a conscious hallucination the open eye, so human it is what it is not it is what it is not contagious availability some things are there but you can't see it is what it is not it is what it is not you have got to believe that things can transform
5.
pink 01:24
we dematerialize drag our way through stress about all the words we cannot undo hide under the pink in an otherwise grey room til finally the time comes the flowers are in bloom i say sister do what you have to do take your time i don't mind i can wait for you
6.
best mess 02:10
should i undress if i feel powerless i sullied, he slept shit year, best mess ugly, cut-up, killing time a risk, we race toward the light i guess i am doing fine but i miss you all the time i want to let the cat out of the bag
7.
unable 00:34
i was unable to call you when i wanted to call you and tell you happy birthday it was a weird day i was walking with a song you like stuck in my head but only a single part of the song you know the part where she says "it's over" and she says "it's over" over and over and i couldn't help but wonder if it's over
8.
plural 02:10
i am not here like i used to be i'm half-erased perhaps a ghost just pissing aimlessly i am impatient i want to be a snake i want to feel the grass against my skin or on my face i am plural i guess i am two but i say this body is not mine does it belong to you does it belong to you i am trying to do right by us been swimming in this pool so long there's water in my lungs but i am singing, choking, some i arrange a bowl of fruit forget to eat it and feel numb i am plural which i guess means i am two but i say this body is not mine does it belong to you does it belong to you
9.
i am afraid to talk. i make enough material but i haven’t made enough material to make a bed better. i haven’t licked all of the spoons clean yet and i want to go swimming but both of my arms are broken. i draw a map on my body, one line for each time i said: no. it is difficult to follow. i followed it and got lost. sometimes my hands seize up when i am wrestling with a button or a clasp. sometimes when i put my hand on someone else’s hand i become a river and they become a river. sometimes when i am a river and you are a river then i am the kind of river that cries a lot and you are the kind of river that makes fun of me for crying a lot. i put sunscreen on my teeth and ask the only other girl on the beach if she will drown me.
10.
becoming 03:26
11.
the world didn't end we stayed home, played priapus i felt at peace with my wrong sex hours passed, we lost the time we osculate and we entwine i want to buy you clothes you'll be too ashamed to wear in public so that when you put them on you'll never have to feel homesick don't worry, i like slow talkers don't worry, i like sleep walkers (whatever reverend i'll be on my knees for a while however rivers end i'll be on my knees for a while) let your arms be exposed i bet it will feel nice

about

"a dictionary begins when it no longer gives the meaning of words, but rather, their tasks. thus formless is not only an adjective having a given meaning, but a term that serves to bring things down in the world, generally requiring that each thing have its form. what it designates has no rights in any sense and gets itself squashed everywhere, like a spider or an earthworm. in fact, for academic men to be happy, the universe would have to take shape. all of philosophy has no other goal: it is a matter of giving a frock coat to what is, a mathematical frock coat. on the other hand, affirming that the universe resembles nothing and is only formless is tantamount to saying that the universe is something like a spider or spit." - georges bataille, 1929

credits

released July 8, 2016

a collection of songs about identity and not-identity, being in between identities and trying to put words on that. resisting the urge to classify, to name states as 'this' or 'that,' but feeling stuck within a limited language. how do we describe our becoming when we don't really become anything in particular? we leave a trail for others to follow, a map of the body, even if where it leads to is still undefined. we tear out every page from the dictionary. we go exploring in the ruins and make something new from the debris. we form less.

form less was written, performed, recorded, mixed, and assembled at home using a phone app over a two-week period in the spring of 2016 by jordaan mason. they sing and play guitar, piano, accordion, reed organ, and casio keyboard, and made the cover art. the album was mastered by matt ross.

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jordaan mason Toronto, Ontario

a confused human being singing songs about being a confused human being (they/them).

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